Is it normal to have a ';crush'; on someone other than your spouse (or bf/gf)? HELP!!?

I want mature answers which is why I posted in this section instead of ';singles %26amp; dating';.. Serious answers only!





It sounds lame, but I met my current bf online about 2yrs ago. We got to know each other extremely well over those 2yrs and he came out to visit me 4months ago to make sure we got along in person just as well as we did online- turns out we got along even better!- and decided to finally start dating. I even met his friends %26amp; some of his family..





We are obviously long-distance (he lives in the UK) %26amp; so we don't get to see each other too often mainly due to the cost of trips to see each other, but I love him more than I have loved any other guy or bf before, he is my best friend %26amp; makes me so happy, we have even talked about marriage %26amp; kids in the future.





Problem: I am starting to ';like'; a guy at work. Mainly it's just physical attraction, since I don't talk to him enough to like his personality- but I do like what I know about him so far.. I got over him within a week or two when I 1st started working there, but recently, he's been flirting with me %26amp; showing me a lot more attention than he ever did, making him very hard to ignore..





I feel sick to my stomach with guilt, even though I haven't ';done anything'; with him. I love my bf so incredibly much, even bought him a $700 flight out here in 3wks and cannot wait to see him!





But I can't get the guy from work off my mind. It might sound like I'm not serious about my bf if I'm thinking of other guys, but believe me, I'm very committed to my bf. I hate the thought of cheating since I believe in karma, %26amp; also because my dad cheated on my mom %26amp; I saw how much it ruined her.





I don't think I'll EVER cheat on my bf, but having a ';crush'; makes me feel just as f*cked up %26amp; wrong. Is it all in my head? Are crushes normal even when you're in a good, healthy relationship? Please help.. Thanks? !Is it normal to have a ';crush'; on someone other than your spouse (or bf/gf)? HELP!!?
No.


You need therapy.Is it normal to have a ';crush'; on someone other than your spouse (or bf/gf)? HELP!!?
Sorry but i don't think so when ever you like ';love'; a person you are ';blind'; to other's around you.
Be with who makes you happy!
If this is ';lame'; or sounds that way, then what entitles you to ';serious'; answers only? Just wondering.


Anyway though, I do think that it is quite normal to have crushes on other people even though one is committed or in a committed relationship. Usually it is a crush on a movie star, singer, actor, or someone we don't really know. That is how I see it. So you shouldn't feel bad or as if you cheated on your b/f., even though you know this guy you have a crush on. It's what you do about that crush that determines if you are a cheater or not. Do I make sense?


Check this out. What if you go along and make something out of this relationship with your b/f that is more than where it is now? But then something goes wrong, and you didn't give yourself a chance to get to know this guy you started to ';like';? Where does that leave you? You may wonder for the rest of your life if you should have pursued it a bit farther. This is just hypothetical thinking I guess. The only reason I went this far with my answer is because you asked for serious answers only and that means to me that this is something that means a great deal to you, plus you typed in the word ';help';. It is something that I would tell a friend of mine if he or she had this same problem. (smile)
Crushes are normal when your married. You could have four husbands and develop a crush on a fifth.





Crushes are caused by physical compatibility on your behalf (not necessarily theirs). After that, you'll general starting convincing yourself otherwise. You'll pretend you like them because of their good personality, et cetera.





In this case, you have a crush on someone, and you're pretending it reflects something special about you. In this case, that you have a problem. In reality, it's just a crush.





You need to decide your prioritize and exercise self-control. You said ';I don't think I'll EVER cheat on my bf.'; Change that to ';I won't,'; and you're back in control of the situation, I think.
Yes; this will keep happening. You need to guard yourself around them, minimize contact, avoid them, don't go out to the bar after work with them, lord forbid if you do don't dance with them, etc... As you noted it's just attraction you don't know them.





If all goes well, some day you'll be able to tease your spouse about your new crush but that's not something to do anytime soon and maybe never at all depending on your relationship.
It is very normal to connect with someone in a way that makes you think highly of them. And honestly, i long distance relationship is hard, especially one that you know you cannot see often. My advice is to end the relationship, and start dating people that you can actually see.